Yet Grace Abounds

Fasts, Feasts, and Lessons Learned from Lent

My Family on Easter Sunday

Hello and welcome to The Endeavor, a publication about the joyful struggle on our journey towards holiness. If you’re new, thank you for subscribing. Please consider sharing this publication with your friends and family via word of mouth, by sharing a link, or both! If you are encouraged my writing and enjoy the work I am doing, please consider becoming a paid subscriber. Your generous contributions are currently used to help with student loan payments and truly make a difference.

We, in the Western tradition of the Christian faith, have moved past Easter into Eastertide, a time allotted in the liturgical tradition of the Church during which we celebrate (hopefully vigorously) the Resurrection of Jesus. I say hopefully vigorously because it should be done with the same fervor with which we fasted which was hopefully vigorous. I can claim my personal fasting choices for Lent were indeed vigorous, perhaps to a fault, as I quickly realized that I had once again over extended myself as I had done with my failed 52-Week digital detox project.

I have not disclosed this to readers until now, but since January I had been participating in what is known as Exodus 90, a program specifically for men where we fast and hold ourselves to various rigid disciplines in community with one another in an attempt to become better husbands, fathers, brothers, friends, and community members. The various disciplines include fasting from smartphone use, cold showers, fasting and abstaining from meat on Wednesday and Fridays, daily Holy Hours of solitude, weekly meetings with the group as well as several other disciplines. All of this was of course made more difficult and complicated by the fact that I am a husband and father of two very young children. Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not trying to blame my wife and children for making Exodus 90 difficult. I’m simply saying that choosing to participate in something so demanding is very grueling and tiresome when you are trying to do all the things required of a good husband while also wrangling children. It was made even more tiresome when in a moment of stupidity genius I decided to give up energy drinks for Lent in addition to the disciplines I was already doing. I realized this was a mistake when all the other guys in my Exodus 90 fraternity said “Wait… you chose to add something else to your disciplines!?!?”. They gave me props for it but I didn’t want props. I wanted adequate sleep and caffeine as the realization of being overextended set in. I soon found myself struggling to keep my Exodus 90 commitments and gradually more tempted to consume the energy drinks I had chosen to give up. Yet grace abounds! Thankfully I found my stride and stayed the course but my first lesson from lent was learned. I absolutely have to get better at discerning decisions and opportunities in front of me. I cannot just say yes to every cool opportunity. Exodus 90 turned out to be a good experience, but if I’m being honest, it would have been wiser for me to opt out and try again in a less busy and less stressful season of life.

Writing this out is hilarious as I now have to admit to you, dear reader, that during all of this I also committed to another digital detox challenge put forth by

Ruth Gaskovski

and her husband

Peco

. Why would I do this to myself?!? Because, through Exodus 90, I was already doing exactly what they were suggesting. I didn’t consider it to be a separate commitment but rather an avenue for reflection. This turned out to have been a great decision. As my lenten choices included Exodus 90 and fasting from Celcius, grace abounds and God, in His infinite wisdom gently guided me as I unintentionally fasted from writing. These reflections on Lent serve well as a soft entry back into the practice.

On the digital front, the only thing I changed from my already limited use of digital tech was to be more intentional about making time for solitude. As this coincided with Exodus 90, solitude took the form of my Holy Hour. The Holy Hour, which I somehow managed to achieve consistency with, included personal prayers, praying the Rosary, scripture reading, and then more scripture reading.

My usual Holy Hour Setting, plus flowers for Easter

You may be thinking “Really man? Two bibles? Wow so Holy…” Let me explain. The bible on the left is my KJV bible which I am trucking through cover to cover. The bible on the right is the Douay Rheims Version which includes the 7 deuterocanonical books. In other words, it’s a Catholic bible which was gifted to me by arguably Substack’s friendliest Catholic,

Scoot

. Almost as soon as I got this bible out of the mailbox I began reading the book of Wisdom and my oh my it is amazing!

Alongside reading actual books, and praying without the help of any apps or streaming services, I engaged in other forms of anachronism. I listened to records, got back into pipe smoking, and enjoyed a surprising amount of time with friends and family. I spent hours outside with my family, cooked a few new meals, and did a tremendous amount of work on the inside and outside of the home. It was a beautiful, fruitful lent.

It’s true, these photos of me are old, but they serve as proof that I do indeed enjoy a nice bowl of pipe tobacco. Plus I didn’t take any new pictures because I was trying to stay free from my phone and unfortunately do not own another camera. This is also the reason I do not have pictures from any recent family gatherings. We were all present and joyful with one another and chose not to degrade that tine by using our phones, even if just to take a picture. Because of course it is very difficult to just take a picture and not allow yourself to get pulled into another task or distraction before you manage to put the phone down. This brings me to a question posed by the host of this communal digital fast

Ruth Gaskovski

. The question is “What worked for you?”. The answer for me is using older, perfectly adequate technology that does not remove my physical or mental presence. The best example of this for me is as simple as wearing a watch. Most of us rely on our phones to tell us the time. This is understandable enough. We’re busy and we need to keep track of the time. The problem is when we check the clock on our “smart”phones, we inevitably see a notification or an email and before we know it we’re wasting our time scrolling through social media when we just needed to check the time. Again, I have small children. They need naps so I need to know what time it is. By simply wearing a watch, I am at once fulfilling my role as a father who is looking after his children while also fulfilling my role as a husband, brother or friend by remaining present and engaged with whom I am with. Other habits that kept my digital use to a minimum were leaving my phone in a particular place while at home, leaving home without it, watching less TV and staying off of my laptop as I made time for physical books. There were no new strategies. I just relied on older technology and good old-fashioned discipline. This was all well and good at home. Work was a different story.

My job was by far the biggest struggle in terms of reducing use of digital technology. Unfortunately, it is actually impossible for me to do my job without it. I must use email. I must use our handheld digital devices to keep track of all our rented products and to process invoices. The constant use of this tech even just for work gets my brain working in a way that allows me to justify use of digital tech even during times where I could very well go without it. For almost six months I held myself to the practice of working in solitude for an entire day, at least once a week. Yet I found it so easy during lent to justify listening to music or podcasts. Perhaps this speaks of being overextended in my commitments, but the Exodus 90 disciplines, combined with my Lenten fasts, combined with the stresses of life and work made podcasts and music feel more like a bit of relief. As much as I wanted to commit to working in solitude, this relief was welcome and maybe necessary. It was so welcome in fact that it answered, for me, the question of “what digital technology will you keep or allow back into your life?”.

About nine months ago I deleted all of my social media accounts. This is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. At the moment I am not planning on returning to any social media platforms. I have considered returning to a few in order to promote The Endeavor, but has so far resisted. Dear reader, please let me know, is this wise? Should I return to any social media platform to promote my Substack publication, or should I stay off? If you think I should use social media, which platform(s) and why?

Regarding what tech I will allow in my life, it is without question Spotify. I simply love music and podcasts and I do not not see any harm in allowing myself to stream those things. I will of course continue to limit my consumption. I will regularly go without streaming during work, and will not allow these good things to interfere with family time, but I have no intention of permanently removing streaming music or podcasts from my life. I have many negative thoughts and opinions about the dangers of digital tech and the many apps and services we choose to consume our time with. But I must also acknowledge that there is plenty of good, God-honoring content that warrants attention. Podcasts such as Pints With Aquinas, The Lord of Spirits, and The Catechism in A Year continue to help me as I grow into the Catholic Faith and they give me hope that there despite the problems with the way we use digital technology, grace abounds and the glory of God cuts through.

This decision ties neatly into the ultimate lesson I learned during lent which was to embrace the the freedom God have given me. His love, grace, and mercy allows us all to make choices! If you want to get off of social media, great! You are free to do so. No one is stopping you! If you want to dedicate one weekend a month to gathering with family for a meal, conversation, games, and cocktails with no phones, amazing! You are free to do so! No one is stopping you! If you want to make your home beautiful by using your hands to build furniture or institute a time of silence and solitude in your home where everyone unwinds with a book or contemplative prayer, have at it! You are free to do so! No one is stopping you! You can choose love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness , gentleness and self-control; against such things there is no law! (Galatians 5:22-23). God has given us the means and the ability to make decisions and it is vital we remember to exercise that freedom. We do not have to conform to the ways of the world. We are free to choose to live differently.

Moving forward, I will continue my lifestyle of digital minimalism. At this point, I can gladly say this is no longer just a fast, but a way of life. Thank you

Ruth Gaskovski

for the original call to action almost a year ago which quite literally changed my life for the better.

If anyone reading this is considering a digital detox, I highly encourage you to go through with it. You are welcome to contact me via email or direct message and ask for help, advice, or prayers.

Thank you all for taking the time to read The Endeavor. I’m grateful for you. I plan on being in your inbox again soon. Let peace be with you, and may God bless you.