Week 30: Welcome To The Internet. You Should Probably Leave
A Lend Your Ear/Weekly Digital Detox Reflection Crossover.
Peace be with you, wonderful readers! Welcome to The Endeavor. We are 30 weeks into a year-long journey towards digital minimalism. Until now, most reflections have been Christian-focused mini-sermons, reflections on my spiritual journey, or musings on cultural issues surrounding society’s addictions to digital technology. This week’s reflections fall into the final category but with a twist. My brother
has joined me for a special crossover issue with Seeking The Narrow. Lend Your Ear is an ongoing project where we discuss music that impacts us. Today, we ask that you Lend Your Ear as we expound upon Bo Burnahm’s cynical single “Welcome To The Internet.”Warning: This song contains explicit content and is not appropriate for children.
Bo Burnham is a 33-year-old American comedian, musician, and director. Burnham initially gained traction on YouTube in the late 2000s and his career began to blossom as his comedy earned him spots on popular shows such as Parks And Recreation and Key and Peele. He eventually landed comedy specials produced by HBO and Netflix “Words Words Words”, “what.” “Make Happy” and, most recently, the critically acclaimed Emmy and Grammy Award-winning “Inside.”
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
Alan King
Released May 30th, 2021, “Inside” became somewhat of a cultural phenomenon as it reflected the isolation and pandemic-induced anxiety many of us felt two years into a virus we were told would disappear after two weeks. Songs “Bezos I, and “All Eyes On Me” were hits and for a good reason, but no song, in my opinion, struck a cultural nerve as viscerally as “Welcome To The Internet.” Given the circumstances, the modern world was at once both more connected and weary of being connected to the internet than ever before. With this song Burnham has (accidentally?) gave voice to The Machine, forcing the spirit behind the internet to say the quiet part out loud.
Pay attention to the actual music of the tune. Burnham begins with this silly and repetitive style. You know from the light pattern that the tune does not want to be taken seriously. And the repetitive nature of notes is easily manipulated into a sort of spiral. A pattern that moves circularly but increases its speed and severity as it continues. And we all know this is true of the internet.
Welcome to the internet
Have a look around
Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found
We've got mountains of content
Some better, some worse
If none of it's of interest to you, you'd be the firstWelcome to the internet
Come and take a seat
Would you like to see the news or any famous women's feet?
There's no need to panic
This isn't a test, haha
Just nod or shake your head and we'll do the rest
The first two verses serve as a great thought exercise. The internet indeed offers us so much content it is bound to offer every user something of interest. It’s humorous and oh-so-telling that the second verse tells us to take a seat and encourages us to stay seated as it indulges obscure fetishes at our convenience.
From here, the song spirals, no doubt symbolic of the chaotic whirlpool social media has revealed itself to be. Burnham confronts the extremes of online behavior, their ultimate futility, and the overwhelming magnitude of sexual or pornographic content that seems to rule or undermine the internet as a whole.
By 1:15, the spiral cycles into a frantic pace, and the spirit of the internet is completely unveiled. Burnham is a mastermind in presenting the antics of the World Wide Web and how quickly its algorithms will drag you down if you’re not prepared to practice self-control. Listen to the tune while reading these lyrics, and try not to walk away completely discombobulated.
Welcome to the internet
What would you prefer?
Would you like to fight for civil rights or tweet a racial slur?
Be happy
Be horny
Be bursting with rage
We got a million different ways to engageWelcome to the internet
Put your cares aside
Here's a tip for straining pasta
Here's a nine-year-old who died
We got movies, and doctors, and fantasy sports
And a bunch of colored pencil drawings
Of all the different characters in Harry Potter fucking each other
Welcome to the internetHold on to your socks
'Cause a random guy just kindly sent you photos of his cock
They are grainy and off-putting
He just sent you more
Don't act surprised, you know you like it, you whoreSee a man beheaded
Get offended, see a shrink
Show us pictures of your children
Tell us every thought you think
Start a rumor, buy a broom
Or send a death threat to a boomer
Or DM a girl and groom her
Do a Zoom or find a tumor in your
Here's a healthy breakfast option
You should kill your mom
Here's why women never fuck you
Here's how you can build a bomb
Which Power Ranger are you?
Take this quirky quiz
Obama sent the immigrants to vaccinate your kids
Though not my cup of tea, I (Daniel) can see the humor here. But if I’m being honest, I'm not laughing as much I’m paying attention. This idiosyncratic artist uses this oddly catchy and zany song to move past mere comedy into a blistering sociological commentary, raising eyebrows as we all realize the dark truth behind these lyrics.
In some ways, these lyrics can only make sense while discussing the internet. In a rational world, you could not follow, “Here’s a healthy breakfast option,” with, “You should kill your mom.” But the internet is not a rational place; only in this context do the lyrics make sense. Anyone who’s found themselves in a YouTube rabbit hole can attest to the seemingly random and vile things you can come across if you just let the algorithm do its worst.
Note also the demanding nature of these lyrics. A demand to know everything you think and to harvest pictures of your children. As devices become even more fused with our natural bodies, it will become increasingly more difficult to keep our thoughts and families to ourselves unless we become more confident and intentional about opting out.
From that frantic digression, the song goes straight into the true mantra of the internet,
Could I interest you in everything?
All of the time?
A little bit of everything
All of the time
Apathy's a tragedy
And boredom is a crime
Anything and everything
All of the timeCould I interest you in everything?
All of the time?
A little bit of everything
All of the time
Apathy's a tragedy
And boredom is a crime
Anything and everything
All of the time
The song is catchy and achieves its comedic goal, but it is truly a stark warning to beware of the power behind this technology we’ve allowed into our daily lives. It would behoove us all to admit that nothing man-made can offer us anything more than a few nice things only sometimes.
Like any good songwriter, Burnham builds the song with frantic intensity before easing into the beautifully composed bridge. The song writing and vocals really shine here. The lyrics perfectly capture the internet of 20 years ago and the rapid evolution of technology which now offers the world in our hands.
You know, it wasn't always like this
Not very long ago
Just before your time
Right before the towers fell, circa '99
This was catalogs
Travel blogs
A chat room or two
We set our sights and spent our nights
Waiting
For you, you, insatiable you
Mommy let you use her iPad
You were barely two
And it did all the things
We designed it to doNow look at you, oh
Look at you, you, you
Unstoppable, watchable
Your time is now
Your inside's out
Honey, how you grew
And if we stick together
Who knows what we'll do
It was always the plan
To put the world in your hand
These lyrics are followed by villainous laughter as it builds back to a frenzied pace with which the song ends, repeating the internet’s mantra.
Could I interest you in everything?
All of the time
A little bit of everything
All of the time
Apathy's a tragedy
And boredom is a crime
Anything and everything
And anything and everything
And anything and everything
And all of the time
“Apathy’s a tragedy, and boredom is a crime.” Let those words sink in. Apathy, a general lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern for any given topic, is unacceptable in the eyes of the internet or those who work to keep us attached to their devices. You must be so consumed and concerned with a little bit of everything all of the time because boredom is a crime. If this sounds exhausting, that’s because it is. Human beings who understand the need for family, community, work, and rest know that we cannot allow ourselves to believe these lies. We should not be completely apathetic to life as a whole, but we must admit we do not have the capacity to be interested or enthusiastic about everything all of the time. Unfortunately, many of us do believe boredom is a crime. We may never say that explicitly, but our behavior displays this belief. How else do you explain people habitually and endlessly fidgeting with their phones when there is the slightest hint of downtime? If you’ve already gotten a table and are waiting for your friend to join you for lunch, what do you do? Pull out your phone. When you’ve accomplished all the meaningful tasks at work and are riding the clock, do you find a coworker to talk with, do other tasks, or do you get on your phone? At the end of the day, when the kids are in bed, and the house is as tidy as it’s going to get, do you read, connect with a friend or your spouse, or do you pull out multiple digital devices and rid yourself of boredom until it’s time to go to bed? If your answers to these questions reveal you gravitate towards screen time more than real-time, you have succumbed to the beliefs of the internet.
In our day-to-day interactions, we know that this internet is ultimately not a place of seriousness. Yes, there are great areas, like Substack, where authors such as
and Gaskovski teach us practical ways to detach. There are writers like literally calling for a “Refuge of Authenticity” which is a noble and worthy cause. But in all reality, we know the best of life happens offline, and overall, the internet is a noisy, immature, narcissistic creature begging for your constant attention and willing to stoop to any low to keep it.If you’ve made it this far and are convicted about the amount of time and attention you concede to the internet, you are not alone and without hope! Most people cannot 100% cut the internet out of their lives because of their jobs. But you can decide to take control and be more intentional with how you spend your time outside of work. We want you to encourage anyone who wants to lower their use of digital technology to consider participating in the Digital Fast
and Gaskovski have initiated this season of Lent.
This post offers practical steps to help you plan and carry out this fast. You don’t have to do everything, and you do not have to do anything perfectly. Do as much as you can and give it your best. Remember here the words of G.K. Chesterton. “If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly.” If you do this poorly but with a genuine effort to improve your life, you will be better for it.
Please comment and let us know what you think of the song and if it has made you convicted about your internet use. We genuinely enjoy learning what others think of music and lyrics and would love your reactions to this song.
Thank you for reading! Have a great week, God Bless!
Scripture of the Week
“Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion; shout, O daughter of Jerusalem: behold, thy King cometh unto thee: he is just, and having salvation; lowly, and riding upon an ass, and upon a colt the foal of an ass. And I will cut off the chariot from Ephraim, and the horse from Jerusalem, and the battle bow shall be cut off: and he shall speak peace unto the heathen: and his dominion shall be from sea even to sea, and from the river even to the ends of the earth.”
Zechariah 9:9-10 KJV
Word of the Week
(adj.) Deleterious- harmful
Example: The explosion of internet access and digital technology may be deleterious to the human race in a way we could never have imagined.
Why deleterious? It’s just a good word.
Music of the Week
Abide With Me- Indelible Grace Music (ft. Mp Jones)
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