Week 29: On My Way Home

Weekly Digital Detox Reflections

Photo by Arturo Rey, Unsplash

Peace be with you, wonderful readers! Welcome to The Endeavor. If you are new here, The Endeavor is a Christian Publication focused on living like Christ in a world we are in but not of. We are currently 29 weeks into a 52-week-long journey on a path towards a life of digital minimalism. Here is my digitally minimal routine. During the week, when I get home from work, I treat my iPhone like an old-fashioned landline. It stays in a designated place, and I do my best to ignore it. After the kids go to bed, I read, write, or spend time with my wife without using screens. Once a week, instead of streaming music, podcasts, or audiobooks while I work, I work in complete silence. On the weekends, I once again leave my phone in its spot, doing my best to ignore it and even leave it at home when leaving the house. I use this distraction-free time to reflect on my life and what I'm reading or writing and gather those thoughts in weekly reflections I share in this publication. If you enjoy what you read today, please consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Progress Report/House Keeping

In this time free from digital distractions, my life has dramatically improved. I'm more attentive to my wife and my children. I'm more productive around the house and at work. I have enhanced spiritual disciplines such as prayer, meditation, and fasting as I have been asking God to clean up the ecumenical mess I have become to once and for all discern where God is leading my family in our search for a church home. Needless to say, I've been busy. Busier than I would've been had I continued down the path of smartphone addiction, but being busy in this way is a good thing! Being busy scrolling endlessly through various social media feeds is equivalent to a hamster busy running endlessly on its wheel. Busy spending time with family, making your house a home, and listening to God for His direction is busy doing work which will reap rewards on earth and in Heaven. My busy schedule is indeed the reason for some housekeeping. 

I'm a husband, precisely one of those husbands who work hard at my demanding full-time job and help with the kids and household chores as much as I can. I'm a father of two children. My daughter is two years old, and my son is seven months old, and I do my best to give them my best every day. I'm a brother and a friend, and I do my best to make myself available to my family and friends as often as possible. I'm a dependable, valuable employee (if I do say so myself) with one of the most significant routes/clientele bases at my branch. I wake up at 3:30 AM Monday-Thursday to read scripture, pray, and spend time in solitude before I embark on my daily duties. I also have the commitment I've made to myself and my subscribers to publish a reflection weekly until we reach 52 weeks. I say all of this to reiterate, I'm busy. So busy, in fact, that I've admitted to myself that my grand plans for The Endeavor have been too grand.

I have plans to write about nine more spiritual disciplines we should consider adding to our lives as we subtract digital tech. I plan to write about problems surrounding digital dependence, music I love, and cultural issues. I want so badly to work on all these projects, but I must face the reality that I only have time and bandwidth to work on one project at a time. A few weeks ago, I announced the writings on spiritual disciplines would become their own series. Well, forget that. Currently, my only concern is to publish something once a week and see this 52-week project through to completion. From here on out, you'll get what I have to give each week, with no promises to write on any specific topic. I love the freedom of being my own publisher and am using this freedom to make sure I manage my time in a way that honors my family while allowing me to write as well as I can for you. And now for some news! 

If you have been following this publication for the last few months, you are no doubt aware of the spiritual journey I've been on. There have been some significant developments on this front, which brings me to where my thoughts have been. 

Where My Thoughts Have Been

Christ The King Catholic Church, Pine Mountain, GA. Photo By Ben Dodds, BLD Graphics

Before I get going, I need to remind you that my background is a conglomeration of various Protestant traditions with only a vague understanding of Mass. 

After months and months of research, conversations, and prayer, I decided I no longer needed any convincing on the legitimacy or validity of the Catholic Church. I needed to take action, so that's exactly what I did. 

On January 14th, my brother

Derek Petty

and I attended our first Mass together at Christ The King Catholic Church in Pine Mountain, GA. I believe God had been preparing my heart for this because I was in love from the moment we walked into the sanctuary. I loved walking in and being confronted with the crucified Christ. That may sound weird, but it was a stark reminder of what we go to church for. We go to be confronted by who Christ is, what He has done and is doing. I loved the heavy silence of the sanctuary before everything started. There was no trendy music or over-stimulating production trying to set the mood. The body and blood of Christ are present, and He needs no help setting the mood. I loved the way every congregant took a knee and made the sign of the cross before they sat down. I later learned this was called genuflecting. This may sound silly to long-time Catholics, but I found this practice humbling and beautiful. To see grown, strong family men humble themselves and take a knee in honor of our King was something to behold.

Mass began, and of course, there was plenty of Derek I didn't know, but that mattered not. The priest and congregants welcomed us with kind smiles as we made our way to the main event, the Eucharist. With babies crying and people coming ready to partake, my brother and I knelt and watched. At this point, my heart had become very tender. I was on the verge of tears and eventually succumbed to my emotions and began to gently weep as I saw child after precious child partake in this Holiest of Sacraments. 

Eventually, Mass concluded, and I made my way home. When my wife asked me what I thought, I said, "I loved it. I absolutely loved it and plan on going back." As the week went by, I thought about Mass daily, looking forward to the following Sunday. Sunday came, and as I was getting ready for Mass, my wife surprised me and told me she wanted to go and that she wanted to bring the kids. I was overjoyed! 

This second Sunday was different. Instead of being 20 minutes early, this time, we were a few minutes late. That’s okay. That’s life with a toddler and a baby. My two-year-old was well-behaved and was only slightly distracting a few times. My 7-month-old eventually lost it, and my wife carried him into the lobby. I was genuinely worried this would ruin her experience. As Mass ended, we made for the car and began our drive home as nap time soon approached. Shortly into the drive, Sidney (my wife) spoke up and said, "I really liked that!" She didn't elaborate, and I was careful not to ask her to. I was bursting with excitement and wanted details, but in an effort not to pressure her, I said I was glad she enjoyed it and let it be. 

She admitted that Emerson's (our son) crying was embarrassing, but understanding smiles from others and witnessing other children crying helped her feel less alone in the struggle. So what was it she liked so much despite the embarrassment?

She liked that when we walked in, we were not bombarded by 50 people trying to get information from us. She enjoyed that the church was beautiful and looked like a place of worship instead of being indistinguishable from a modern tech startup building. She appreciated that all the singing and preaching was done without the assistance of screens or any digital tech. She appreciated that there was no effort in trying to be entertaining. The purpose of being there was to worship and nothing else. While acknowledging she and I still had much to learn about the Catholic Church, we loved what we had seen and experienced and decided to continue attending Mass weekly. And, of course, in the middle of our excitement, we hit a roadblock. 

Monday or Tuesday of the following week, through discussions and more digging into Catholicism, we came across two subjects we immediately objected to. It would be impossible for me to dive into these objections without getting too personal. I'll just say there were long, complex discussions that culminated in us suspending our journey into the Catholic Church. That was January 23rd. I was really bummed out but felt it was the right decision. The plan then became to visit a few local non-denominational churches. My children and my wife were sick the following Sunday, so we stayed home. During this time my heart continued to stir. Though I had decided to no longer pursue Catholicism, it seemed to continue pursuing me. 

After a few down days, I again began to read the daily Mass readings and pray the daily rosary. I started to pray once again, asking God to show me the direction my family should take to find a church home, and I could not shake the feeling that maybe we overreacted to our objections to the Catholic Church. I was annoyed with myself for being so wishy-washy on this, but I couldn't let it go. Through prayer and several conversations, my objections to Catholicism began to fade. I had to admit our objections were not based on anything we found to be wrong but on teachings and ways of life that are hard and require discipline. Having realized this, I could no longer hide from what had happened to me. I had become a man ready to convert and become a Catholic. 

I was simultaneously overwhelmed with joy, having finally made a decision, and also dreading having to bring this back up to my wife. Not because I feared her reaction but because I don't like feeling like I am annoying, and I felt all this indecision must be annoying to her. After a few days of wrestling with how to approach the subject, I decided to write her a letter. Last Saturday night, I wrote her a letter detailing every reason I could no longer deny becoming Catholic. Sunday, February 4th, came, and everyone in the house except me was still sick. But my wife was well enough to read the letter. This is where I can exclaim, "Thank God for good wives!"

She told me that she had been having the same thoughts! She said she had also concluded that our objections were not actually objections but excuses. She also stated that she fully supported my decision to convert and was willing to continue attending Mass. She is not yet at a point where she is ready to convert, and I have made it clear to her that I will never pressure her, and that she is free to make that decision if and when she is ready. 

So here we are, folks; I am no longer an ecumenical mess! I'm now on my way to being simply a Catholic mess. 

On February 15th, 2017, I was unjustly fired from my position as a youth pastor in the Assemblies of God denomination. For seven long years, I've endeavored to find a church to call home. On February 14th, 2024, I plan on attending morning Mass, ready to participate in Ash Wednesday as a man who is ready to call Rome sweet home. 

Saint Peter’s Basilica. Vatican City, Vatican. Photo by Xavier Coiffic, Unsplash

I cannot help but conclude that my routine of digital minimalism has played a role in helping me make this decision. If you need another reason to consider a digital detox, consider my story as an example of being able to discover something that's bigger than yourself when not distracted by the world that's been made available to you in the palm of your hand. There is something much bigger and better calling you forth. To see what it is, you must first lookup. 

Thank you to all of you who have been praying for me, my family, my brother, and his family as we have been on this journey. I will only ask that you continue to pray for us.

Benediction

In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us, sinners.

“The LORD bless thee, and keep thee: The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.”

‭‭Numbers‬ ‭6‬:‭24‬-‭26‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Thank you for reading! Do your best to disconnect from the artificial, and connect with others.

And as always,

Keep thy head cool and thine eyes true.

Howard Pyle, Men of Iron

Scripture of the Week

“And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon Bar-jona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven. And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭16‬:‭17‬-‭18‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Word of the Week

(verb) Genuflect- to lower one’s body briefly by bending one knee to the ground, typically in worship or as a sign of respect.

Why genuflect? It’s appropriate and it’s just a good word.

Music of the Week

Glory Bound- The Wailin’ Jennys