A Mother’s Forethought
How and why a girly single mom raised a life-long sports fan.
Susan Brown Petty passed away nine years ago. As the years have gone by, I’ve often found myself reflecting on her life and more specifically on her role as a single mother to my twin brother and me. In honor of what would have been her 61st birthday, I want to share with you just one way in which she was an amazing mom and how her thoughtfulness continues to shape my life. When I think of her, there is one word I come back to over and over again; that word is forethought. Her ability to think ahead about her hopes and desires for us and then act in a way to produce the desired outcome was truly remarkable. I'm not sure if this was something she always had or if it was something she developed out of necessity as a single parent, but she always did her absolute best to make our future better. The clearest example of her forethought can be seen today in my love for sports. Specifically baseball, and NBA basketball.
My brother and I (Derek Jordan Petty) must have been toddlers because she was thinking ahead about us starting kindergarten. Somewhere in her thought process, it occurred to her that my brother and I might struggle to fit in with other boys because we spent the majority of our time with her and her friends, who were mostly women, and quite feminine women at that. The thought of us not fitting in bothered her so she started to think about solutions. Her question was “What do boys like?” Ultimately, she settled on sports.
My mother didn't care a thing in the world about sports, but she was determined to help us fit in. Well we lived in Atlanta, and it was the 90’s, so her choices for which sports to follow actually came to her pretty easily. The Atlanta Braves were one of the best teams in baseball and unless you lived under a rock, everyone in the 90’s knew who Michael Jordan was and that he played for the Chicago Bulls. So my mom would turn on the tv to every Braves and Bulls game she could find and hoped my brother and I would soak it all in and, it worked! We didn’t just like sports, we became obsessed with them. Baseball and basketball in particular.
Baseball
Most of my early life was centered around baseball. From the ages of 4-14, if you had asked me what I want to be when I grow up, my answer would have been a professional baseball player. Not only did we watch as many games as we could, we played every season. We practiced/ played constantly! Whether it was an actual structured practice with a team, or just my brother, myself, and some friends playing for fun in the yard, we played all the time. And Mom was our biggest supporter through and through. In 1995 when the Braves won the World Series, she collected as much memorabilia as she could. She was at every single practice and every single game. She encouraged us to always put in our best effort, celebrate wins, and also taught us how to lose with grace. She also taught us that in every loss, there is a lesson to be learned that can help us improve. All of this from a woman who didn't care about sports!
Though we stopped playing baseball at 14, our sporting days were far from over. Over the next 4 years we ran cross country and absolutely fell in love with soccer and tennis. Once again, Mom was our biggest supporter attending every practice, race, and match she could. After high school, my playing days became less organized and less frequent. I played a few inter mural sports in college but my love for them lived on.
Fast forward to October 2021 when my daughter was born at the same time the Atlanta Braves began their World Series run, which they won! I will always remember watching those games while I held her as she slept.
Basketball
Given everything you just read, you might assume that I consider baseball to still be my favorite sport. While it still holds an important place, there is no sport I follow more closely than NBA basketball. As I said before, Mom turned on every Chicago Bulls game she found. But even more impactful than that was a Michael Jordan documentary she bought for us called “Come Fly With Me.” My brother and I must have watched that documentary a thousand times. We simply couldn’t get enough of it. I was captivated by Michael Jordan. His skill, athleticism, drive to win and ability to basically fly was something even a young kid like me could see was extraordinary. And on top of all that, he loved baseball too!
While we never played organized basketball, we probably went out to shoot hoops almost as much as we played baseball. And once we discovered SportsCenter, basketball highlights became the ones I loved most. Eventually, as teenagers my brother and I dove into following the NBA seasons. Jordan was retired so I was forced to look for a new favorite player. While I love LeBron James’ game, I couldn’t help but go all in on Kobe Bryant, which is what led me to becoming a fan of the Los Angeles Lakers. My brother chose a different path and became a Boston Celtics fan. Here we had the closest thing resembling a sibling rivalry. I can still remember watching the 2008 and 2009 NBA finals with my brother and our friends. In the following years I would make new friends who also followed the NBA and watching the Finals together every year was something we did whether our favorite teams or players were there or not. We truly became fans the game. As the 2023 finals came around, I was starting to think about writing this for my mom when I realized that I have watched every single NBA Finals series for the past 15 years. Almost half of my life! My love for the game has not stopped with just watching but has also become the theme for a lot of my podcast listening. The Mismatch, Real Ones, Group Chat, Off Guard, and The Old Man and The Three, have all become podcasts I listen to regularly in my attempts to keep up with and understand what is going on in the NBA. If you are an NBA fan and want to listen to some podcasts about it, I cannot recommend these shows enough. Keeping up with the NBA in this way has actually helped me achieve my mom’s ultimate goal which was not just liking sports, but fitting in.
In the years we actually played sports, my brother and I made tons of friends, a few of which will last for the rest of our lives. Not only that, it has helped me in every job I’ve ever had. Small talk is a huge part of my current job. It is easy to hold small talk in contempt, but becoming comfortable with it, and even excelling at it can make a big difference in how your coworkers and business partners perceive you. I can’t always talk sports during small talk situations, but when I can it often leads to other topics of discussion and I end up having great conversations with some really important and interesting people. Once again, all of this is because my mom was looking out for me.
The purpose of this post is to honor my mom, and I think the best way to do that is for me to now encourage all you parents to think ahead for your kids! Taking just a little time to think about your family, identifying potential problems, and coming up with simple ways to make improvements can make all the difference in the world. The forethought my mother had and her effort to make my life better as a child not only improved my childhood but continues to bring me joy as an adult. As a father of two wonderful children, I hope, pray and will work to make sure I have such an impact on them.